‘Tis The Season….for idiots!

I could’ve sworn the holiday season was supposed to be the one time of year where everyone is nice to each other. Not in California it isn’t! Just when you think people couldn’t get more rude and obnoxious, just add two ingredients – the mall and Christmas.

Holy shit, get a life. That is all.

California The United States is already bad enough with everyone’s “me first” attitude out in public. People just don’t give a shit about one another anymore. Whether it be on the road, in the mall, or anywhere else, there’s too much “fuck you” and not enough “go ahead.” The holidays only amplifies this problem by 3,000 percent. I guess you can blame shit like smartphones and vehicles with increased power for amplifying the Attention Deficit Disorder in Americans. Everyone wants instant gratification. They can no longer wait for anything. If something takes longer than 2 minutes, people whine, bitch, moan, and complain.

Riddle me this, Batman – Why do people drive around the parking structure for 30 minutes looking for the closest spot when they obviously have no problem walking around the mall for 3 hours? You have the dickheads who will block traffic while they sit with their blinker on, the sluts who walk in the middle of the road and think traffic will yield to them, the tool bag who parks his 1995 Civic directly on the middle of the line and takes up 2 spaces because he thinks he drives a Bugatti Veyron, and the crack whores who see that you’re waiting for their spot and take their sweet ass fuckin time.

Then, you enter the mall. You have the people who don’t think twice as they bump into you in order to get by, the stupid bitch slowing everyone down because she’s too busy texting with her head up her ass, and my personal favorite, the whore who is walking in the flow of traffic and stops out of nowhere, as if she’s the only person in the entire fucking mall. It’s a proven fact that when you get a large group of random people together, stupid shit happens. Don’t even get me started on Black Friday. I love the unemployed losers who camp out in front of Best Buy a week before in order to save a few bucks on an Ipod they don’t need. Then, when the doors open, people stampede and trample one another for fuckin material things. People have lost their friggin minds.

It's no wonder online shopping has rapidly increased over the past few years. You don't have to deal with fuckin idiots. You can also be like me and order your gifts while sitting naked in a bean bag chair and eating cheetos. I have no other colorful insight here. If you're one of those idiots, go fuck yourself!!

Tombstones Belong In The Cemetery



It's already a given that nobody in this fuckin' country can just leave their car the fuck alone. Everyone has to do something to make themselves stand out. My question today: When the fuck did rear windows become epitaphs?



54 years is a long time to use a condom!

I don't know how to say it any simpler than this, but, nobody on the road cares about who died in your life! Whether it be "Grandma Rosemary" or "Uncle Jim" that shit is something that should be left in the cemetery and not on your fucking car. All it takes is one fucking idiot to do something retarded and people follow like damn lemmings. You seriously thing putting a "In Loving Memory" sticker on your rear window is trendy? Think again, cupcake!

One response I received from one of these offenders was "I did it to honor them." Bullshit. The first automobile in this country came off the production line in 1908. People had 100 years worth of chances to "honor someone" on their rides, but didn't. Do you know why? Because it's fucking stupid.

People on the streets and freeways don't need to be reminded of death, much less the deceased of someone they've never met. Why do people insist on putting this shit out for complete strangers to see? Understand that I'm not completely insensitive. I get the whole wanting to remember them thing. Just keep that shit in one of three places: Your house, your body (remembrance tats are acceptable), or the damn cemetery. Period, end of story. In the age where people will do anything to stand out, this is one thing we definitely don't need. If you're one of the motorists who've done this, read the following sentence. Stop trying to draw attention to yourselves!

Oh, and for those of you who just said to yourselves "I didn't do it to draw attention to myself," that's 100% bullshit! You honestly think a huge ass epitaph on your window isn't drawing attention? Guess again. Why else would you put it on the outside of your car for all to see? Why not put it on the inside? Like on your dashboard or glove compartment where you can be reminded of that person everyday? Oh, that's right, because people won't be able to see it inside. Your car doesn't need to be a mobile tombstone. Stop it. Just stop. Stop I said!