Let’s Nuke Santa Ana

The first thing you’re gonna say when you read this is “Nolan, you’re just a hater against Mexicans.” You’re absolutely right. But only the bad ones! Although not all Hispanics suck the life out of our great state, most of them do, and this particular article focuses on the ones inhabiting the ass crack of Orange County.

 

Poor homie. He thinks he's still tough.

When I hear the name “Santa Ana”, one phrase comes to mind – piece of shit. Not only is this sorry excuse for a city filthy, it’s filled with the most low-life pieces of crap in the entire universe. The only reason why other cities like Huntington Park, Vernon, West Covina, Bell Gardens, and Pomona don’t beat out Santa Ana on the ‘Piece-Of-Shit-O-Meter’ is because Santa Ana has more square mileage.

 

Now, let’s run down a few reasons why we should nuke Santa Ana right off the Thomas Guide. These are just a FEW reasons, because I don’t have 6 months to talk about them all.



1. Gangs. Feel like getting stabbed or shot while minding your own business? Take a leisurely stroll down Bristol Ave or 17^th Street. This city is filled with so many pieces of wannabe gangster shit it’s ridiculous. The safest time to visit is between 8am and Noon, because these so-called thugs are planning their next drive-by inside their classroom at the continuation high school. Every single day there’s a story in the paper about gang violence in this craphole. Guys like “Baby Joker” and “Droopy” think they’re tough by getting a tattoo of their last name on their back, wearing clothes 3 sizes too big, and shooting at unarmed people. Some even refer to themselves as “soldiers.” Well, if these guys are so tough, maybe they won’t have a problem with taking their skills to Afghanistan, right…ese?



2. Pregnant hynas. These stupid bitches should be deported on the spot. So you live in a run-down apartment complex, you work the counter at Del Taco (if you’re even employed), you have no insurance, yet you continue to pop out illegitimate children? Holy fucking shit. This irritates the living shit out of me. I work my ass off every day, even gone to war for this country, and these stupid hoes get to lay back, pop out kids, and mooch off the state for free. God bless America.



3. Mexican Independence Day Festivals. Viva Mexico! Yup, Mexico is so awesome and so great, that nobody wants to live there! I hate seeing these super uneducated welfare recipients on the news celebrating an independence day for a country they want nothing to do with. They wave a Mexican flag, have a Mexican flag sticker on the back of their Tahoe, shout “viva Mexico”, and yet they live in Santa Ana. It should be open-season on these low-life pieces of shit. What’s even worse – the city shuts down streets so they can celebrate this shit.

4. Santa Ana Unified School District. According to the California Dept. of Education, out of the top 10 worst performing schools in the entire state, Santa Ana has 4 of them. 4 OF THEM! IN ONE FUCKING CITY! We’d be better off shutting down the high schools and opening Fast Food Universities instead. It makes sense since that’s where most of these Spanish speaking retards are headed anyways. Either that, or a fulfilling career in lawncare. Here’s a suggestion: stop teaching classes in Spanish and make these future welfare recipients learn English! Geez, where’s Jaime Escalante when you need him?

These are just a few reasons I think we should dispose of the entire city of Santa Ana. Maybe in the future, part 2 of this blog will be brought forth. If there's anything about this craptastic city you'd like to burn on, by all means, please contribute! We'd love to hear your thoughts.