The only thing I hate more than snobby people are the places that cater to them. Eating establishments like The Melting Pot are a great place for stuck up people to recharge their snob batteries. For those of you who’ve never been to The Melting Pot, let me introduce you to the biggest rip-off in the history of mankind.
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| They won't be smiling once the bill comes! |
The Melting Pot isn’t supposed to be just a restaurant, but an experience as well. It’s exactly the type of experience you want to stay as far away from as humanly possible. It may just be me, but the whole point of “going out” is so you don’t have to cook your own food. When I go to a restaurant, I’m under the assumption that they’re providing a chef to cook the shit for me. Now, not only do you cook your own food at this sorry excuse for a restaurant, you pay more to do it.
Let’s start from the moment you walk in the door. You’re already down $100. That’s right, one hundred dead presidents for stale bread, melted cheese, a few toothpicks, a pot of boiling water, and some raw meat. If you’re on a budget, plan on ordering a glass of water, because the alcohol prices are high enough to make Lindsay Lohan not want to drink. After some modest drinking, my alcohol tab had already reached the same as my food. To be honest, I really don’t know how these people sleep at night. I’m surprised the servers aren’t wearing ski masks and carrying automatic weapons.
For your convenience, I’ve created a cash-saving alternative to The Melting Pot. Your shopping list should include: 1 block of Velveeta cheese ($4), 2 large Hershey bars ($2) 1 lb. sirloin steak ($5), 1 loaf day-old French bread ($2), 1 box of toothpicks ($3), case of 20 Bud Light longnecks ($14). Add Velveeta to a small crockpot. Cut your sirloin and bread into bite-size pieces. Bring a pot of water to a boil. Repeat crockpot scenario with your Hershey bars. There you have it! A fondue evening for about $30. Eat your heart out, Rachel Ray!
What the fuck is it about The Melting Pot that continues to draw people in? It’s typical of the snobs of the planet to feel validated by overpaying for average food. It also gives chicks a reason to dress up like sluts. It’s just too bad that the eye candy fills me up more than the food does.
Nolan you kill me with this shit
ReplyDeleteHaha, I went to that place once. It was a horrible experience. I was in a large group and ended up spending over $100. I'm not sure how they stay in business, it can't be dependent upon repeat business.
ReplyDeleteDahm.. I have never been there and we we're thinking of going there when the hubs came home on R and R. Not now.. I'm not trying to be broke!!! LOL
ReplyDeleteIt's a huge rip-off and their bread is stale, but I had a lot of fun dipping things into my fondue pot the first time I went. Don't worry, I didn't pay full price for any of that.
ReplyDeleteFYI, fondue bread is suppose to be stale, back in the day they couldn't preserve foods as we can now so they didn't want to waste valuable bread, (think peasants) so they dipped it in hot cheese and it made it taste good and not go to waste. Just in case you missed school, you just got taught.
ReplyDelete- anonymous be Hatin'
p.s, please melt some Hershey chocolate, it tastes like shit. your blog spot should be called "stingy,classless haters& why i still eat at McDonald's" (that prob don't tip because its the servers fault for trying to get thru life on there own dollar)let me guess you go to Disneyland without checking the weather, it rains and you bitch and complain about it like its Disney fault...
Dear "Anonymous,"
DeleteThank you for the history lesson. Welcome to 2012, where we have the technology to keep bread fresh and we don't have to resort to eating stale bread. I'd thank you by name, but apparently you do not have the testicular fortitude to post comments without being anonymous.
With all the fondue history you've been studying, I think you've neglected your English and grammar studying just a little. But then again, knowing the difference between "there" and "their" is pretty tough once you've passed the 4th grade. You might want to put together your own blog and title it "Idiotic, clueless hater & why I can't put together a complete gramatically correct sentence."
P.S. I love McDonald's. The McGriddles are fucking delicious. Now go fuck yourself.