3 Reasons To Avoid Starbucks

OK......What's with the Starbucks craze? Can this shit get anymore frustrating and ridiculous? Now don't get me wrong, it can be good stuff. I even treat myself sometimes. But this shit has gotten way out of control. Here are my top 3 pet peeves about walking into a local Starbucks:

Don't be like this guy. No seriously, dont.

1. Complicated coffee orderers. I know you may think it's "hip" to approach the counter and order a "venti soy decaf triple shot vanilla mocha....." Jesus Christ! It's a cup of coffee, not a fucking 7 course meal! And what's with the size lingo? Dammit...small, medium, large...period!

2. Multi-orderer chick. I get the nice thing and all, you know, being the one to run the errand and score nice points. But what I don't get is why those lazy assholes back at the office can't get off their fat asses and get their own coffee. I was behind some broad the other day when she pulled out this order list for 5 of her coworkers. Of course, none of them could be a simple hot chocolate. Starbucks is crowded enough without having to deal with invisible people and their orders.

3. Laptop computer guy. Here's an inside tip...YOU'RE NOT COOL! You may think we care about how important and sophisticated you look sitting there sipping on your iced caramel macchiato while working on your ill-fated screenplay and checking your empty mailbox. But we don't. Are you that hard up for attention? Shut that shit off and get to your place of employment...if you have one.